We are a therapy collective with a specific focus on neurodiversity, early childhood, brain science, attachment, expressive arts and the power of play.
March at The Real Work: The missing step in emotional regulation
Published 9 days ago • 3 min read
Hi parents and caregivers,
Welcome to March at The Real Work! This month we have a treat: A warm, thoughtful conversation with Kimia that will get us reflecting on safety, slowing down, and connection to self as parents. Plus a resource for parents outlining how to apply strategies we use with kids, to our own daily routines.
Why do we avoid slowing down to notice difficult emotions? An Interview with Kimia Amirifar, LPC:
Kimia Amirifar, LPC practices Synergetic Play Therapy with kids ages 3-10 at The Real Work
When we override our internal signals, we disconnect from ourselves. Slowing down and accepting those signals helps us respond more intentionally. However, accepting those signals can at first feel intolerable! It makes sense that we would avoid our own or our child's discomfort.
What Advice Would You Give Parents About Slowing Down and Acceptance?
Kimia reflects:
“The more we try and reject who we are and our needs, they find a way to get louder and harder to ignore. I would advise parents to see a child’s behavior as their way of trying to get a need met. If their body is knocking into you, are they trying to find a way to physically connect to you? And is there a way to accept and offer a way that works for both of you?”
10 thinks we advise doing with kids that you, the parent can do for yourself! Plus it counts as teaching our kids via "modeling behavior" when we try these strategies out on ourselves!
Sneak peek from the 8 sensory systems visual bundle
What if you, the parent, are hypersensitive to stimuli, but feel that you have to mask this or shut down your needs because you have to parent? That can leave us depleted, or ready to have our own sensory meltdown later when a partner gets home or once the kids go to bed. Then, we wonder what our problem is. At least, that’s definitely been part of my experience.
So, let’s do an experiment and try applying some of the child-centered strategies for highly sensitive kids, to ourselves as parents!
Take note of clothing that is comfortable for you.
Remember to take deep breaths (bonus, you’re modeling this for your child)
Take note of your reaction moments. When you snap, get angry, or shut down, what happened right before?
Use transition warnings
Use a visual schedule
Use a sleep hygiene routine
Use a morning wake-up hygiene routine
Check-in regularly on foundational 4 senses-are needs met? (use a visual reminder for this!)
Learn your 8 sensory systems and how yours function.
BONUS: Create your own regulation menu based on your 8 sensory systems
A resource we made for parents: the 8 sensory systems visual: shareable link for parents and professionals
There are 8 sensory systems, and they all have specific jobs! Kids who have sensory differences often fall on one or the other end of a spectrum. They may be Sensory Craving/Seeking, or Sensory Avoiding. Consider taking a look at our newest resource on the 8 sensory systems to learn more about what you or your child might be experiencing in one or more system, plus get some activities to do with them.
$12.99
Learn the 8 Sensory Systems + Activities for Each System (Visual Bundle)
Click through each system to learn what dysregulation looks like, how it works, and activities.
Perfect for parents or... Read more
Therapy Collective for Kids, Teens and Parents | Therapist-Designed Resources + Education
We are a therapy collective with a specific focus on neurodiversity, early childhood, brain science, attachment, expressive arts and the power of play.
